Plain and simple: wizzwhoppers lead to mosquitoes. You may be asking yourself "what the heck is a wizzwhopper?!"...well, in my family, that's what we call mosquito-eaters. Your family may use another name (i.e. - skeeters, skeeter-eaters, gollywhoppers, atc). Either way they lead right to mosquitoes, and therefore mosquito season. We've had quite a bit of wet weather this winter and early spring, so I suspect that mosquito season will be here before we know it (or before Target has their "OFF" section declared for summer). And I know mosquito season is fast approaching by the amount of wizzwhoppers slipping into my home when I let Roxie (our dog) in and out...and when Chuck Norris (our cat {I feel like I have to remind you that our cat's name is CN, just in case}) is intently starring at a corner of our wall - that's how I know it's time to prepare myself for the dreaded mosquito season.
Mosquitoes and I have battles of epic proportion - think Holyfield vs. Tyson. Except unlike Holyfield who gets his ear bitten by another human, I get mine bit by bugs. And it's not just the ear.
I'll never forget the summer my parents sent me to girl scout camp (well, actually they sent me to girl scout camp for a period of five years, then I think they finally figured out that "camping was not my thing").
The first year I went to girl scout camp was at Camp T, where someone thought it would be fantastic that I actually got to stay in covered wagons (literally). Being in the 3rd grade, I was a bit excited and terrified at the same time. The week before I arrived at camp it had rained, and rained, and rained, and left stagnant puddles around my wagon - generally what we in Texas like to call a breeding ground. When we arrived at camp, Pebbles (my camp counselor) showed me to a wagon that I was going to share with three other girls. Upon looking at my wagon, my excitement transformed into petrification. Holy thin mints - I had a 4-poster bed...for mosquito netting!! As I pouted on the ramp of my wagon, my mom went to work putting up netting - it was a horrific concoction of army green and fishnet pantyhose (apparently we'd bought the off-brand netting). My parents waved goodbye and I was left with my wagon, mosquito netting, and loosely-called latrine. The next morning one of my wagon-mates wakes me up: I'm on the "floor" of our wagon and tangled in my netting, which had been ripped off my 4-poster bed along with two of the posts. Pebbles comes to assess the damage and my netting is beyond repair...as well as the bed's posts. She assures me that I will be just fine without the netting, and that maybe I'll win the camp's award for "best camper" (whatever the heck that entailed). The next several nights were filled with ending up on the floor again, wetting my pants, and getting stuck in the latrine. Finally it was time to go home. My parents were appalled when they picked me up from camp to count over 120+ mosquito bites all over my body. With all the horror I'd dealt with during the week, I hadn't even noticed the bites, but I was ready to go home.
Two years later, my parents drop me off at Camp SR. This time I was staying in covered tents slightly elevated off the dirt. There was netting again - the brand the camp recommended. At least this time I made it two nights without winding up tangled in my netting; however, this year I did notice the mosquito bites that soon followed and reacted the only way I knew how - I scratched...with a ferocity that landed me in the nurses station. I thought "Hallelujah! I get to go home early!", but the nurse couldn't get a hold of my parents. So with her best judgement, and my medical release form in hand, she figured the best bet was to give me some Benadryll.
Nurse, (think raspy, smokes-too-much voice): "Sweetheart, can you swallow pills?"
Me: "Uh, no, we've been practicing with M&Ms, but I always spit them up."
Nurse (puzzled): "Huh."
She turns around to a cabinet and fiddles in there for a while. I was hoping she was looking for the good, pink stuff (calamine lotion and/or the bubblegum-flavored penicillin that had to be kept in the fridge). When she faces me she's holding two Benadryll and a straw.
Nurse: "Open up. I'm going to put the Benadryll in the end of the straw and blow it down your throat. It won't hurt. It'll be over in no time."
She was right, it didn't hurt (that I remember) and it was over too fast - I had to go back to my tent. {Disclaimer: I realize now that this was in no way, shape, or form legal, but I do not hold Camp SR liable of any damage at this time}. I can't remember if the nurse did finally get a hold of my parents, but they didn't come to pick me up any sooner then the end date - and again, they counted the bites.
That was not the last year they sent me to camp.
So, as I see wizzwhoppers buzzing about my home I am reminded that mosquito season is coming...and I don't do well with mosquitoes.
keri! i've been meaning to tell you how much i love reading your blog. i, too, have battled with mosquitos my entire life. my mom always told me it was just 'cause i was so sweet and that's why they were drawn to me. i was also a girl scout. but up here in oklahoma were were like civilized or something. i always stayed in a cabin with ceiling fans....
ReplyDeletealso. holy thin mints?! might be the best thing i've read in a while!
miss seeing you, friend!