Monday, February 28, 2011

crib for free

It's been a while since I've posted (clearly). And as the title of this post may suggest, we are expecting our first baby in July. Yay! With this being said, the hunt for all things baby is on - that means rocker, crib, stroller, etc. I found a fabulous crib online as part of a closeout inventory...meaning it was relatively good looking and rather inexpensive. Exciting! BUT...they sold out in a matter of hours and I didn't act fast enough. Back to the drawing board (aka same website I was on).

The husband, however, had a different approach. The same weekend we were going to purchase the crib, we also purchased a swivel glider - the one I'd been eyeing since I walked into Babies 'R Us without feeling like a total loser...I think I was the only pregnany lady in there that looked non-pregnant (waiting for the bump to show). These two (potentially) large purchases scared the husband a bit. I mean, was he just now figuring out how expensive this baby was going to be?!

Anyhow, we were beginning to clean out baby's room and had some things we were taking over to his mom's in exchange for us taking some of her items to a dump day. The dump day happened to be in the city where his sister and aunt lived. Perfect! Drop off the junk for free!

All was fine and dandy until I saw them pull back into the driveway with a full truck bed. What?! Wait. I thought we were dropping stuff off...

Low and behold - in the bed of the truck was a white crib. Trying to hide my facial expression (those of you who know me well, know I have a "look"), I poured out as much excitement as I saw my husband exuding with his "find". Our conversation went something like this:

Husband: Look babe! I found it on the side of the road (in said city)! Almost got in a fight with another guy, but we got there first!

Me: Oh, a fight?! For this?

Husband: Yeah, he probably knows how much cribs cost these days too.

Me: It has teeth marks on the railing.

Husband: So. It's a little scuffed up, but I can sand it and repaint it.

Me: Is that safe?

Husband: Eh, we'll just buy those teething covers to put over the rails, that way there's no way the baby could get lead poisoning.

Me: Oh, God!

Apparently I could not hide my "look" any longer. The husband and his mother loaded the crib back into the truck to drop it off at the dump day site. He was a bit upset that I was so unforgiving of the flaws on the crib - called me "materialistic"...I'd much prefer to play this one safe.

The next morning we get a call from Grandad (husband's grandfather). The coversation went something like this:

GD: Hey y'all! You're never going to guess what I found! A crib! On the side of the road. I picked it up and it's on my porch. Why don't y'all come take a look at it?

No. Way. No possible way that Grandad could have picked up the same exact crib...BUT he did! Husband thinks that means we are destined to have this crib - I call it dumb luck. Grandad is almost certain he can fix the faulty gate release (aren't those banned on cribs these days?), and the teeth marks are no sweat at all according to him. The husband is extactic. I am trying to find every possible reason why this decision is a bad one.

I mean, really? Skimp on the one major safety object in the room?

To no avail, the crib is still being "looked at" as an option by the husband. I continue to search for other, more reasonable cribs...and getting him on board.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

jean jackets.

First off, according to wikipedia, I need to thank Levi's for creating the first jean jacket! Denim jackets have been a staple in my wardrobe since I can remember...and you never forget your first.

My first jean jacket was a wonderful light, acid-wash ladies jacket - size L. Now keep in mind...I was in second grade. But, this was not just any 'ol jean jacket. This jean jacket had come from the "bedazzled" era. And it. was. glorious. (at the time, I thought so). For whatever reason, just because I "loved" something (i.e. - barbies, cabbage patch dolls, school supplies), then that also meant I had to wear it.

I've already created the canvas for you...light, acid-wash, size L. Now for the art. This jean jacket had an array of wooden school supplies and rhinestones casually hot-glued over the entirety of the jacket. There were crayons, chalkboards, alarm clocks - all made of wood and painted. There were cloth iron-ons of cheerleaders, football helmets, pennets. There was every size and shape of rhinestone in blues, reds, yellows, and greens. I'm sure you're thinking so far that it can't be that bad...oh, it was. For whatever reason, there was one of the wooden alarm clocks right between the sholder blades - forget trying to lean back in your chair! (Being a teacher now, I think I might have come up with a solution to my student's leaning/almost-sliding-out-of-the-desk problem...glue a wooden alarm clock on the backrest). Did this alarm clock deter me from wearing said jean jacket? Um, no. I wore it with flair! Sometimes I would wear my school supply jean jack with a sweater that looked like notebook paper with kid drawings (no lie). Sometimes I'd wear it with my Osh'kosh B'gosh overalls, train conducter stripes and all. Sometimes I'd wear it over my jammies...thinking I'd sleep on my stomach (but, no, there's a wooden alarm clock over the heart). Funny thing is, and I think this is how life works, the darn thing was several sizes too big...but nothing kept me from sporting two of my favorite things - jean jackets and school supplies.

I still have my school supply jean jacket. And when I use to talk about it, I think people thought I was kidding...that this "thing" actually existed. I keep it in my closet in my classroom. I've been chilly in class a few times, and it's made an appearance...BUT I was really, really cold. I've also used it as a consequence - "oh yeah, if you're late to class one more time I'm going to make you wear the jacket!".

Maybe I'll pass it down to my children someday. Nah, I'll spare them the embarrassment. :)

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

phobia

Everyone has a fear or a phobia, although most have a phobia towards a living "something" (i.e. - spider, cockroach, wasps, etc.). Mine, however, is broken glass.

This past weekend, the hubs and I ventured to a mall to buy me a new bike helmet. Yep, you read right. Me, buying a helemt. That can (and should) mean only one thing...my clumsy self will be attempting to ride a mountain bike! On dirt!

Anyhow, the hubs picked out a vibrant, hot pink helmet for me. And honestly, I just didn't care to find a different one. Any of you that know me personally, know that I don't truly like to stand out - especially in a sport that I have no experience in. Wearing a hot pink helmet just yells "hey, you really awesome rider over there, watch at me fall into that rocky cravese!".

When we were leaving the mall, I happened to step on a grassy curb and looked down to see broken shards of glass. Instantly, I was paralyzed in my spot...and I yelled. Not a yell so loud that others around us thought I might be dying, but loud enough to gain awkward stares. It felt as though my legs had turned from jello to concrete in a matter of milliseconds.

Knowing my fear, hubby kindly walked over and pointed out a path that would take me out of the valley of death and around the shards. Once we were in the car (and a second of welled eyes later), I had him look over my flippies (3 times) to make sure none of the pieces made it into the soles or the bottom of my feet.

For some people, they don't know where their phobia originates; mine, however, all stems from an emergency room visit and no sight of a promised ice cream treat if I didn't cry. And I didn't cry.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

guilty shopper

My mother taught me at the young age of three right from wrong when shopping; don't steal, always use coupons, and it's easier to return it if you decide later you don't want it. I was reminded of the one about "don't steal" today, and it brought back a terrible memory of my very first shopping experience.

I'll start by saying this: To the Stores, don't put small, easy-to-be-grab objects at children's eye level or reach. We were picking up something at a Walgreen's-type store, and while we were checking out I noticed the gleaming silver wrapper of a york peppermint patty. I'd never had a york peppermint patty before, but the wrapper alone sold me. So, I put it in my pocket.

Mom was treating me to McDonald's that day, and for whatever reason, she let us sit out in the playground area. For those of you with kids, I don't know how you can stand those playground areas; yuck. Anyhow, I was more interested in playing than eating, but knew that I had to finish my Happy Meal before I could play. Then I remembered my little treat waiting for me in my pocket. So, I pulled it out and ate it.

Mom: "Where did you get that?!"
Me: "Um, at the Walgreen's-type store."
Mom: "Let me ask you again, where did you get that? I did not buy that for you!"

So, I told her: It was calling my name at eye level with it's shinny, silver wrapper that was just within my three foot reach.

Needless to say, I did not get to play. Mom quickly drove me back to the Walgreen's-type store, asked for the manager, and told me to explain what happened. I was mortified. I was in tears. And I knew I was in trouble with the law.

The manager thought all of this was quite cute, and said that if I apologized to every store employee that it would pay off the 5 cents I stole from the store. It was literally only 5 cents, but I learned my lesson - do not steal!

This brings me back to my present-day story. It's Memorial Day weekend, and how does the mass majority of the market economy celebrate? With SALES! So, I received a 15% Off coupon and a $10 Gift, both from the same store! Someone in their marketing distribution team must have been fired over that one. Anyhow, I decided to treat myself to a little "set" (if you truely must know what said "set" is, you'll have to ask me in person or hopefully, figure it out yourself).

However, when I got in the car I noticed that the $10 Gift only applied to certain states, and one of them was not mine. Well! Then why the H would you send it to my address if the Gift didn't apply to my state! Mom taught me another lesson: to raise cane, so I was going to use the coupon regardless.

I found a set I really liked; it was already 40% Off, which was a good deal to start with. Then I deliberately went to a line with a male cashier hoping to embarrass him a bit with my purchase - perhaps he won't see that my Gift did not apply to our state. He hesitated a bit with the tags - good, he's getting antsy. I told him I had two coupons and could I use both. He said, "Yes". Great! Told me my original total would have been $40, then with the 40% Off it came to $36, and somehow, SOMEHOW, with the use of my coupon and my gift, my total cam down to $4.59! Holy Tiffany Blue (beacuse that's the color I picked out)! I didn't ask questions, in fact I asked for a gift receipt and told him it was for a bridal shower. He was sweating (or perhaps that was me). And I left.

When I got to the car, I checked the receipt to figure out just how awesome I am - and to look at the math of it all. Shoot. He didn't charge me for the bottom half of the set. Panic set it. Did I just steal that bottom half of the set? Do I go back in and tell them? But I only spent $4.59, it was such a deal! And then I drove off. The whole way home I tried justifying it; it was his fault, he's the cashier...and that's about as far as I got with justifications.

I feel mortified. I did shed some tears. I feel terrible for inadvertantly (see still justifying) getting away with the bottom half of my set.

{Don't tell my mom}.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

doughnut holes.

According to Shipley's, the average doughnut hole is 16/20". That is 16/20" of awesomeness in 12 bites (if you get a dozen, which I do).

I treated myself to doughnut holes yesterday morning; 1) because I love doughnut holes and I had restrained myself for several weeks, and 2) because I had to get up for school on a Saturday (thank you inclement weather). Anyhow, they were pure, glazed bliss! It's a good thing they only put a certain amount in each bag (i.e. - a dozen), otherwise I wouldn't be able to control myself.

Ever since I can remember getting doughnut holes, I've always had this odd idiosyncrasy associated with them. Early on, I realized that Shipley's creates abnormal doughnut holes (surely by accident, and for my satisfaction). This 1 in 4 dozen doughnut hole aberration has an inside that is purely caramelized sugar (the glazed icing), so that when you bite into it, it's heaven. Think original Cadbury bunny egg, but better and without a hard, chocolate shell. Always having an affinity for science and investigation, I discovered that the abnormal doughnut holes are more dense than the normal glazed perfections...and knowing this allowed me to assort my dozen doughnut holes from the normal doughnut hole to surely the greatest (less dense to more dense). And that's how I eat them. Hoping that the most dense doughnut hole will, in fact, be one of the abnormal, sugar-filled confections. Most of the time, my doughnut hole line-up works; in fact, it's been working since 2nd grade.

However, since Shipley's closed in our neighborhood I have turned my doughnut hole affections to a new donut store. And although their doughnut holes are good...they just can't compete with Shipley's. I have yet to discover a single doughnut hole like Shipley's produced (on accident).

Will I stop eating doughnut holes? Um, definitely no. But the Shipley's denser doughnut holes hold a much dearer spot in my heart!

Monday, April 12, 2010

sweet.

Some households fight over finances or chores or children. My household fights over desserts.

My mom made my favorite cookies last week - peanut butter white chocolate chip - they make my mouth water just thinking about them. She gave me two bags; one with 6 cookies and one with 7 cookies. Never did she specify that one bag was for me or one bag was for my husband...I just assumed that all the cookies wouldn't fit in one bag. Nor at the time did I realize that the bags were unproportioned.

These cookies are so good that you can't just have one at a time, they're a take-2-cookies-at-a-time kinda goodness. So over the past couple of days I saw the bags dwindle. But I wasn't panicked. I had proportioned my rations so that Sunday night I would still have one after dinner and one for the next day's lunch. At least I planned, and I placed (hid) them in the fridge.

After dinner, the husband walks into the kitchen and looks at the empty location where the cookies had once been. He's livid. This avid, "I don't eat sweets" person is mad that the cookies are missing. I calmly, and simply, explain to him that one is for dessert and one is for MY lunch the next day. He proceeds to tell me that I have eaten ALL the cookies. NO!? I couldn't have - there were 13 cookies! Then I remembered that he had, in fact, eaten 2 of them. This is where he mathematically reminds me that that means I've eaten 9 of the cookies. Um, yikes.

He decides to compromise - he'll eat the last ice cream drumstick. What?! The last one?! This is where the argument ensues and he tells me that I cannot have my cake and eat it too.

So he got the last two cookies. I got the last ice cream drumstick. He likes to think that he won, but in reality I feel like I've won. I ate 9 of the 13 cookies...and I got the last drumstick (the kind with the little bit of chocolate-filled cone at the end).

All of this happens the same week after Easter - in which case I decide the day after Easter that I need a Cadbury Egg. Monday we travelled to a multitude of Targets, Walgreens, Wal-Marts, and CVSs in search for the last remaining Cadbury eggs in DFW. At our 7th location, a Walgreens close to our house, we spot boxes upon boxes of Cadbury eggs...but not the cream ones, lots of orange cream and carmel, but no original cream. Then. Shoved in the back of a shelf I see a hint of primary-colored foil gleaming in the fluorescent light. Could. it. be! The last remaining original, cream-filled Cadbury eggs in DFW?!

{I need to mention that our hunt for these eggs was vocalized at every location, so individuals in a 2-aisle radius could hear the desperation in my voice}

As soon as I go to reach for the last container of Cadbury eggs, a crazy grandma sneaks in like a lurking ninja and plops them in her basket. What?! But those were mine. She knew they were mine. I spotted them first!! It took everything that the good Lord gave me to not steal this grandma's basket...or slap her.

Needless to say, I was upset. So upset that FB and my school friends got to hear about it. Some of them even went on a quest to find the last remaining Cadbury eggs in their neck of the woods.

One friend introduced me to Lindt chocolate. Let me tell you, if you've not experienced these little bits of edible heaven, you are missing out. She surprised me several days in a row by putting one in my box. They were scrumptious.

Another friend surprised me this morning with my very own collection of Cadbury eggs! It made my Monday (and Tuesday - Friday)! Four little containers of mini-Cadbury eggs - a dozen each. I was doing pretty good, until 4:15 pm. The nutritional label (that's almost oxymoronic on a chocolate box) said that a serving size was 4 mini-eggs. So I ate a serving size. +1. +3. +5. What?! I ate 9 mini-eggs?! Gaw, they were so good! I feel that since I didn't eat ALL of the dozen that I could still eat dessert tonight.

And I didn't bring them home to share.

{After this post, I am giving up sweets in order to fit into my clothes...once again.}

Saturday, March 27, 2010

wizzwhoppers lead to mosquitoes

Plain and simple: wizzwhoppers lead to mosquitoes. You may be asking yourself "what the heck is a wizzwhopper?!"...well, in my family, that's what we call mosquito-eaters. Your family may use another name (i.e. - skeeters, skeeter-eaters, gollywhoppers, atc). Either way they lead right to mosquitoes, and therefore mosquito season. We've had quite a bit of wet weather this winter and early spring, so I suspect that mosquito season will be here before we know it (or before Target has their "OFF" section declared for summer). And I know mosquito season is fast approaching by the amount of wizzwhoppers slipping into my home when I let Roxie (our dog) in and out...and when Chuck Norris (our cat {I feel like I have to remind you that our cat's name is CN, just in case}) is intently starring at a corner of our wall - that's how I know it's time to prepare myself for the dreaded mosquito season.

Mosquitoes and I have battles of epic proportion - think Holyfield vs. Tyson. Except unlike Holyfield who gets his ear bitten by another human, I get mine bit by bugs. And it's not just the ear.

I'll never forget the summer my parents sent me to girl scout camp (well, actually they sent me to girl scout camp for a period of five years, then I think they finally figured out that "camping was not my thing").

The first year I went to girl scout camp was at Camp T, where someone thought it would be fantastic that I actually got to stay in covered wagons (literally). Being in the 3rd grade, I was a bit excited and terrified at the same time. The week before I arrived at camp it had rained, and rained, and rained, and left stagnant puddles around my wagon - generally what we in Texas like to call a breeding ground. When we arrived at camp, Pebbles (my camp counselor) showed me to a wagon that I was going to share with three other girls. Upon looking at my wagon, my excitement transformed into petrification. Holy thin mints - I had a 4-poster bed...for mosquito netting!! As I pouted on the ramp of my wagon, my mom went to work putting up netting - it was a horrific concoction of army green and fishnet pantyhose (apparently we'd bought the off-brand netting). My parents waved goodbye and I was left with my wagon, mosquito netting, and loosely-called latrine. The next morning one of my wagon-mates wakes me up: I'm on the "floor" of our wagon and tangled in my netting, which had been ripped off my 4-poster bed along with two of the posts. Pebbles comes to assess the damage and my netting is beyond repair...as well as the bed's posts. She assures me that I will be just fine without the netting, and that maybe I'll win the camp's award for "best camper" (whatever the heck that entailed). The next several nights were filled with ending up on the floor again, wetting my pants, and getting stuck in the latrine. Finally it was time to go home. My parents were appalled when they picked me up from camp to count over 120+ mosquito bites all over my body. With all the horror I'd dealt with during the week, I hadn't even noticed the bites, but I was ready to go home.

Two years later, my parents drop me off at Camp SR. This time I was staying in covered tents slightly elevated off the dirt. There was netting again - the brand the camp recommended. At least this time I made it two nights without winding up tangled in my netting; however, this year I did notice the mosquito bites that soon followed and reacted the only way I knew how - I scratched...with a ferocity that landed me in the nurses station. I thought "Hallelujah! I get to go home early!", but the nurse couldn't get a hold of my parents. So with her best judgement, and my medical release form in hand, she figured the best bet was to give me some Benadryll.

Nurse, (think raspy, smokes-too-much voice): "Sweetheart, can you swallow pills?"

Me: "Uh, no, we've been practicing with M&Ms, but I always spit them up."

Nurse (puzzled): "Huh."

She turns around to a cabinet and fiddles in there for a while. I was hoping she was looking for the good, pink stuff (calamine lotion and/or the bubblegum-flavored penicillin that had to be kept in the fridge). When she faces me she's holding two Benadryll and a straw.

Nurse: "Open up. I'm going to put the Benadryll in the end of the straw and blow it down your throat. It won't hurt. It'll be over in no time."

She was right, it didn't hurt (that I remember) and it was over too fast - I had to go back to my tent. {Disclaimer: I realize now that this was in no way, shape, or form legal, but I do not hold Camp SR liable of any damage at this time}. I can't remember if the nurse did finally get a hold of my parents, but they didn't come to pick me up any sooner then the end date - and again, they counted the bites.

That was not the last year they sent me to camp.

So, as I see wizzwhoppers buzzing about my home I am reminded that mosquito season is coming...and I don't do well with mosquitoes.