guilty shopper

My mother taught me at the young age of three right from wrong when shopping; don't steal, always use coupons, and it's easier to return it if you decide later you don't want it. I was reminded of the one about "don't steal" today, and it brought back a terrible memory of my very first shopping experience.

I'll start by saying this: To the Stores, don't put small, easy-to-be-grab objects at children's eye level or reach. We were picking up something at a Walgreen's-type store, and while we were checking out I noticed the gleaming silver wrapper of a york peppermint patty. I'd never had a york peppermint patty before, but the wrapper alone sold me. So, I put it in my pocket.

Mom was treating me to McDonald's that day, and for whatever reason, she let us sit out in the playground area. For those of you with kids, I don't know how you can stand those playground areas; yuck. Anyhow, I was more interested in playing than eating, but knew that I had to finish my Happy Meal before I could play. Then I remembered my little treat waiting for me in my pocket. So, I pulled it out and ate it.

Mom: "Where did you get that?!"
Me: "Um, at the Walgreen's-type store."
Mom: "Let me ask you again, where did you get that? I did not buy that for you!"

So, I told her: It was calling my name at eye level with it's shinny, silver wrapper that was just within my three foot reach.

Needless to say, I did not get to play. Mom quickly drove me back to the Walgreen's-type store, asked for the manager, and told me to explain what happened. I was mortified. I was in tears. And I knew I was in trouble with the law.

The manager thought all of this was quite cute, and said that if I apologized to every store employee that it would pay off the 5 cents I stole from the store. It was literally only 5 cents, but I learned my lesson - do not steal!

This brings me back to my present-day story. It's Memorial Day weekend, and how does the mass majority of the market economy celebrate? With SALES! So, I received a 15% Off coupon and a $10 Gift, both from the same store! Someone in their marketing distribution team must have been fired over that one. Anyhow, I decided to treat myself to a little "set" (if you truely must know what said "set" is, you'll have to ask me in person or hopefully, figure it out yourself).

However, when I got in the car I noticed that the $10 Gift only applied to certain states, and one of them was not mine. Well! Then why the H would you send it to my address if the Gift didn't apply to my state! Mom taught me another lesson: to raise cane, so I was going to use the coupon regardless.

I found a set I really liked; it was already 40% Off, which was a good deal to start with. Then I deliberately went to a line with a male cashier hoping to embarrass him a bit with my purchase - perhaps he won't see that my Gift did not apply to our state. He hesitated a bit with the tags - good, he's getting antsy. I told him I had two coupons and could I use both. He said, "Yes". Great! Told me my original total would have been $40, then with the 40% Off it came to $36, and somehow, SOMEHOW, with the use of my coupon and my gift, my total cam down to $4.59! Holy Tiffany Blue (beacuse that's the color I picked out)! I didn't ask questions, in fact I asked for a gift receipt and told him it was for a bridal shower. He was sweating (or perhaps that was me). And I left.

When I got to the car, I checked the receipt to figure out just how awesome I am - and to look at the math of it all. Shoot. He didn't charge me for the bottom half of the set. Panic set it. Did I just steal that bottom half of the set? Do I go back in and tell them? But I only spent $4.59, it was such a deal! And then I drove off. The whole way home I tried justifying it; it was his fault, he's the cashier...and that's about as far as I got with justifications.

I feel mortified. I did shed some tears. I feel terrible for inadvertantly (see still justifying) getting away with the bottom half of my set.

{Don't tell my mom}.